window

they say when that when He closes a door, they open a window. while i was hoping for an email from chase this afternoon, i chanced upon a job opening for paragon. a friend is already working there and he said the pay is a little promising. i just sent my resume via email and am expecting a call by tomorrow. hopefully, things will go well this time.

just had my 2nd interview for the week. oh the 1st one was yesterday, with chase. it seemed promising at first but after the voice assessment, it sounded like they weren't interested and till now,i haven't received an email from them.

i've typed in my resignation letter this morning but didn't have the chance to hand it over, although i was already in the area. i guess i just wasn't ready for it.

my second interview was with capital iq. it also looked promising but i think she got disappointed when i told her that i had a pending application with chase. i was told to wait until friday for the results of my interview. if i don't here from them after friday, then that means i didn't pass.

i feel so vulnerable lately. i feel like i'm not that good enough and i'm not even sure if i'll ever feel good enough. working with mlb seemed to be a lost cause and i don't even know if there's ever a chance for me to improve. i know that when the ramp down starts, i'll be one of those ill-fated agents to be transferred.

at this moment, all i could think of is grab the first company that would offer me a high paying job. doesn't really matter where it is, for as long as the pay is good.

tomorrow, i'm supposed to report back to work. i sorta miss it but since my heart is already bent on leaving, i don't think it's proper for me to put my heart in to it.

i don't know what will happen this week. things may change,things may not. i wanna say that i'm hoping, though i am still expecting the worst.

resignation

I've always hated that word. I've always thought that I would be the type of person who would stick with one job, doesn't matter if the job is sucky and the pay stinks.

I would have to say that there are other factors that are making me make the move right now. Factors that I wished didn't affect me. But here I am, on the move again, and even if it would mean hurting other people, I still have to make the move.

I once posted on my Facebook that I am heading the path with my eyes wide open, and that I wouldn't look back. But it's not that easy. It's hard to explain, because I do see my current job as home. Nothing beats to that feeling when you're working.

I guess I have the right to grieve. I can still cry if i want to, but I can't look back anymore. My journey begins ... finding a new life, a new home. and hopefully staying there for the rest of my life.